at around 2 AM, as usual. its summer! i have all the time in the world to do whatever i want! well, for 2 and a half months, at least. wait, NO! i don't! because i have a summer job. don't really know if that's a good thing or not. i mean, lets see the pros and cons of it. it's fairly easy.
Pros: i don't waste my summer doing literally nothing at home all day. i get paid $10/ hour, i work in San Francisco, my job is to use facebook, linkedin, and twitter, i like pie.
cons: taxes. no sleeping in. no time to chill with friends other than after work and weekends. 2 hours of commute a day. i have to write a report on the interactions i get on said social media sites. I dont get free pie.

but, money is good. it helps me fund the various expenses i have this summer. for instance, i just spent $200 on the deposit for the studio my band, Seventh Day Breakdown. we'll be recording in all of 2 weeks. scary as hell, yet also exhilarating as hell. its really soon, considering that we only came together as a band about 3 months ago, but we never even bothered covering famous songs; we went straight into writing our own stuff after a failed attempt at The White Stripes' Seven Nation Army. (We flopped about half way through the song, when all of us forgot the rest. at exactly the same time.). but a level of urgency to get it done came up. of course we'd have loved to do it near the end of summer, but unfortunately, one of our guitarists, who moved here for the semester from Indiana, is returning back to his home. we'll definitely going to miss him. so, we'll be in the studio for two days to lay down our first EP! email me if you want a copy!

i also have been attempting to further my progress in the photographic arts, especially in portraiture. i have been wanting something new to play with to offer me a new challenge; a new toy to master and fully understand. it seems like i understand my beloved nifty fifty rather well, though i know i'll always be unraveling it's mysteries. of course i know i'm no master with my flash; there's a whole other world with it, but i want to delve even deeper than i am now. but i'm carving myself deeper than the mines of Moria right now. Strobism is an art in itself, as much as its a part of photography. it's pretty much the art of light within photography, but there's so much more to it than just a light source blasting at a person or object. it poses a challenge to me that i dont think i'll ever fully defeat, and its a skill i'll never actually master. but i want to embark on the journey on how strobism will affect my photography by investing is a set of (moderately)cheap studio style monolight strobes.

of course, when i say (moderately) cheap monolights, they're not exactly within the normal budget. hey, photography ain't cheap! the set up of two monolights, stands, bags, and two different umbrella modifiers while cost be near $800 shipped. yeah, not very nice on the wallet. of course my dad and brother think its stupid, and they think its not really something that i'll use very often. no matter how effective and well thought out my arguements are they never seem to understand why i want to invest in strobes. of course it's a metric shitton of money, but everything photography related costs a lot of money. my dad and my brother both thing it'd be a better investment to spend my lens fund and a little more from my summer earnings on a versatile lens, but then there, they also dont realize something. there's absolutely no point. all the good non-L series lenses (the top of the line lenses) are primes, with fixed focal lengths and consistent aperture; the style of lenses i actually do like, though they both think they're useless. either they're primes, or they're zoom/telephoto lenses that are priced so high, you may as well buy a L series lens for a few hundred more. there pretty much is no middle ground offered by canon, and i dont want to go third party.

so where does this all leave me? sitting here with my Canon T1i, my beloved little nifty fifty, and my flash. right where i am. of course, soem other elements as to why i want more gear comes into play. i have friends who get all sorts of cool, expensive gear, and being a somewhat normal teenager, i'm slightly enviousof the amount and qaulity of the gear they either own or have access to. i feel rather limited to what i have, and i know its not the gear that makes the photograph, but the photographer. i just think that some level of gear comes into play. there's bound to be some photographer around somewhere who can take a bloody good photograph with my rig, but there's countless others who take better photographs with more extensive rigs. the more gear just opens more doorways an possibilities to go in different directions with your art. ad lighting is such a broad topic, i'm sure i'll be fascinated with it for years to come, which is why i think its the smart investment. not to mention, once i get the hang of it, i can begin to do shoots!

anyways, its now 2:42 AM, my pop's is getting pissed, and my visions blurring. i have a crazy, fun packed summer ahead of me, and an even crazier, stressful school year to oh so joyously look forward to at the end of these coming two and half months. hopefully you'll see more posts within the time frame, but dont be too optimistic!

Monday, March 21, 2011


i absolutely LOVE sandwiches. of all sorts, but mainly if i make them, or they're made to my specs. and contrary to popular belief, sandwiches made by women are not better. i typically make my masterpieces with whatever's lying around, so its often different every day. i absoluetly HATE getting the same sandwich everyday. i think i can blame my dad for that, as he gave me literally either a PB&J or a Bologna, cheese, mustard and mayo sammiches. needless to say, i absolutely hate bologna and mayo. there was even a point where i stopped eating PB&Js for a bit (*GASP*). but no worries now! i swallow these things up FAST! what can i say? they're brilliant!

but some of my all time favorite sandwiches, excluding the mandatory PB&J, are pretty random, but awesome. i love fluffer nutters. the heavenly combonation of marshmallow fluff and peanut butter. pure bliss. but give me a nutella sammich anyday! i'll love you forever! put some crunchy peanut butter (no smooth stuff for this guy!) in it, and you'll have to bring me one everyday. now, the comonation of PB, fluff, and nutella is the most unhealthy but the most delicious sandwich pretty much ever. some other sweet sandwiches i enjoy are PB and honey, and nutella and jam. they both have their merits. you. cant. use. smooth. peanut. butter. ever. it spoils the awesomeness! and you have to use the crappiest bread possible, like wonder bread, though i often use orowheat buttermilk bread.

As far as savory sandwiches, i have a very pecliar pattern with 'em. if my mum makes some sort of indian style meat, chances are, i'll try putting it in a sandwich. my choice of bread for these is pretty much always sourdough. sometimes i lightly toast the bread while simmering the curry (if it was a curry) down 'til its moderately dry. then i'll take my choice of cheese, though its often havarti, as it works great with indian stuff, and lay it on the par-toasted brea, lay on the meat, some sliced onions, some chillis, a bit of hot sauce, and then squish it together, and chuck onto a pan to grill. whilst on the grill i grab a pie tin, my huge mortar, and place it on top of my grilling sammich to press the heck oout of it. maaaaan do they turn out GREAT! but i really need to invest in a panini press. last step: cutting it diagonally, and mixing a lot of ketchup with tons of tabasco sauce, for Adi's special spiked ketchup!

i just love sandwiches. in my experience, women dont make the best, unless its their profession (not makig jokes or sexist remarks, just stating opinion!). i really just dont trust anyone with making my sandwiches. my mum tries, and honestly, they're awful pretty often. though i gotta hand her this: her open faced sandwiches whoop serious ass. i've given up on consuming my dad's sandwiches. often they lack enough of everything, and i mean everything. there's either barely any meat, or mustard, or other sauces. i wont complain too much about cheeses, but i still will. but theres ALWAYS a surplus of MAYO, UCHHHHH!!!

one of my most recent creationis is the bacon grilled cheese. pure win, deliciousness, etc. zLOVVVEEEEE them to death. its like crunchy break, gooey cheese, and crunchy and salty BACOOON <3. i really love bacon. and cheese. omnomnom.
i'ma go make me one now!

Monday, January 24, 2011


to bury down or drown beneath a huge mass. to defeat completely. to over power.
its what i feel right now. overwhelmed. there's just too much going on for me right now. between various personal issues that are driving me apart to school; academically, socially, and otherwise. i've tweeted a metaphor for whats happening to me right now. i likened my life to driving downhill, "a while ago i posted a tweet saying, "my life's headed downhill... not in the uberly dramatic sense, but a slight roll, like with the parking brake not engaged." now it seems like my brake lines have been cut and i was the bastard who did it. who's going to save me from myself?".
or as i put it elsewhere (longboarding forum) " i feel like a new guy going down his first hill without knowing how to stop. its scary as shit, and you dont know whether it's going to give you the rush of your life of make you end up in crutches."

i guess i have been screwing myself over this year. i havent been taking things seriously. especially school. hell, i should be doing homework right now at 1 am, but i'm busy ranting and raving about how overwhelmed i feel. i've been irresponsible; i am being irresponsible. what i do now affects me later. i know this, i just dont heed it. this whole year, escept when i was participating in the fall play, i would come home at three, and screw around on the web till around 6, when i would tell myself to get cracking at my homework. and i did, i really did. but then i'd open up the books, feel a bit of desperation, and just blank. i'd be sitting at my desk, screwing around, until it magically became 10 pm. i'd be wondering what the hell i was doing for the last 4 hours, or the three before then. i'd start working furiously, then get sidetracked again. i often didnt finish the meagerest of assignments till 1 am or later. and i would still have more homework that i hadnt done.

i know its not right. i guess i'm writing this mostly to come to better terms with how stupid i've been. i'm the main reason i'm in this situation. i guess thats why in my tweet, i said, "i was the bastard who did it". although i confess, i believe there are others beyond my control, things i dont want to get into on this public blog. i know writing this whole thing is stupid, but i guess i'll feel some relief from someone knowing why the hell i've been a class act ass to all my good friends. any of you who read this, know this: i'm sorry for being who i am, a jerk. i dont mean to, but i have my moods, and its not pretty. lately it seems i've been trapped in it perpetually, and again i'm sorry. i'm trying to be a better person right now, for both myself, and all of you, its just incredibly hard right now. please just stand by me, and bear with all this stuff i shove on you.

my life is going downhill right now. i just cant wait till i start the hike back to the top to do it all over again.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

hey hey, what's this?

i've been getting much more into photography lately, if you couldnt tell. if one of my close friends, you're probably irritated by the mere sight of that sling across my shoulder that has that dreaded camera and flash within it. and i admit, i'm becoming quite the gear-rhymes-with-horse. but can you blame me? camera gear is just tantalizing. there's always something to acquire. and the problem with this damned thing is that its so damned expensive. i just wish i had a job to fund my G.A.S., or, Gear Acquisition Syndrome.

lately i've been eyeing some new glass and some flash related gear. the glass being a stunning wide angle zoom Tokina 16.5-135mm f/3.6-5.6. produces some sharp photos. beautiful lens. i also fancy a 28mm wide angle prime. but me pops says no more primes as they, in his eyes, are useless and irritating, though i personally love prime lenses. theres just something about them... *sigh*. i really love the bokeh effect, especially when applied to portraits. stunning. i've been trying to mimic a stunning portrait i stumbled across while messing around flickr. and lately, i've been reading more and more, and experimenting with my camera more and more. i have learnt so much in the last two months about my camera, its unbelievable.

now this is going to seem irrelevant to the main idea of this post (for those of you who cant connect the dots, its photography), today is school we had an assembly. no, thankfully not one of those annoying rallies which do nothing but deafen everyone and confuse the hell out of them. we had a public speaker, Jeff Yalden.yes the dude from the MTV show, Made. and he was pretty good. he truly did say some motivational things, and made me realize something. but thats not the point, nor something i'll be posting to the interwebz for the whole world to potentially see. at one point during his rather entertaining speech, i took off my glasses to clean off with my shirt. i looked up at the guy sitting next to me, my favorite Freshie, mikey. his face was absolutely in focus, and all that hallabalooo. of course my photographer instincts saw all this. while wiping my glasses off, i looked up, and glanced at the people sitting on the bleachers across the basketball court, and all i could see was a mass or different colors; facial; skin tones, hair, clothes. i thought two things, first being "damn i'm freaking blind!" and two "hey this is pretty cool. it'd make for a stunning shot, really. it's kinda like seeing in Bokeh!". and thats what i've been trying to get to!

i guess you could say that my nearsightedness could be an equivalent of a low depth-of-field. its really cool really. as a photographer, i found this rather exciting and interesting. i guess another reason i love photography so much, is that i can truly see through the lens. but its interesting because theres a whole different perspective. and i guess that truly helps make my style different than most, even if at this point, i dont have my very own unique style. its just very interesting to me how this works!

now to prove your assumptions that i'm a bipolar writer true, i'm jumping back a ton.i'm a total gear-rhymes-with-horse. i like photography gear. makes me feel better. and its motivational. i feel like doing more when i have a new "toy" to play with, and to master! i really want a mobile strobe kit, but unfortunately, i really honestly do not have the wallet to afford one. or else, bye-ye life's savings! however, recently, i discovered flash umbrella bracket! yes! its kinda like using a flash as a less powerful strobe thingie! or pretty much, i'm playing with off-camera flash. i found this kit for $35 that's an umbrella, a flash bracket, and a stand! all i need in addition to that is a flash trigger, as my bloody camera doesnt have a slave option for my flash. thats just $70 right there, and thats technically speaking, better than buying a cheap quality strobe kit, with very few options, because my flash is bloody powerful. if i want to mess with more advanced techniques, i can buy an additional, $70 cheap flash for use as a hair light, or just as another light source in general, while i use my actual flash as the main light source.

now something i definitely need to nab up soon is a good 5-1 reflector. if i want to do outdoor portraits, it would be sooooooo useful! either a diffuser, warming reflector, cooling reflector, natural, etc.i've also heard of techniques where people bounce off of the reflector, though that does take a litle more skill in the bounce, and a larger reflector. good lighting gets me these days.

and speaking of good lighting, my city's recently switched out our normal orange streetlamps with these really bright and consistent white lights. man, do the cast a nice light! its just bloody hard to capture an image in with out the light falling the way iw ant it. just tonight, errrrr, last night, i had a micro photo shoot with my bro and his friends underneath one. it cast great light, and provided great fill light as well. took a few rather good quick shots, though i think i would have been able to do better if i had the time to take the photo. but its cool, and i'm definitely gonna try it again soon.

now on december 30, 2010, i started this cool photography project called project 3765, which is basically taking a photograph every single day, for 365 days. its been pretty hard, and i slipped up one day, but i'm trying. i had started several websites to post the photos to, for exposure and what not! pretty cool huh! here is a link to one of them on a photoblog site: photoblog! and its great. very simple layout, with a good file size limit. plus 5 photos per post, not much of a limit. preettyy cool. i also discovered the project's site, and i created an account to show off my shots there as well... her it is. i know, i know, i'm rather behind. well, i ahvent exactly uploaded photos to my computer recently. so i'll egt to it promptly... :P

and so i've just been experimenting alot. its fun. i recently got a freebie gel sample book from dram, and i use those gels to keep either infront of the lens or over the flash for cool effects. the gel over the lens tends to have a milder effect while the gel overth flash disperses colored light interestingly, and makes the light more drastically than it is. i personally thinkits pretty cool, and very fun to play with!

anyways, i want to go to bed and try to fall asleep though i know it'll evade me for a few hours. comment, and what not! make it be known i dont waste my time with this all for something no one will read!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

i like pens.

i really do. a good pen is a real instrument. and very useful. i'm in a constant search for a favorite pen. i thought i had finally found one when i had discovered the pilot v5 some years ago, and i sued it alot. 'tis still one of my favorite liquid ink pens by far. as far as gel ink pens, i have had many. one of my most recents, is an indian pen, a Cello Magna. talk about buttery smooth.

but as of late, i have decided to look more into fountain pens. i really love writing with fountain pens and quills (AKA dipping pens). the main thing i have hated about them, though, is the price, of both the pens, let alone the ink. there's something about them, that just keeps me loving them, when i cant afford to shell out 8 bucks for 4 tiny cartridges that would only last me a few days of daily writing. i really hate cartridges. especially the refillable ones. they're so inconsistant, and you always have to worry about them drying up. such a pain in the arse. not to mention the over all maitenence o the pens is just a killer draw back.

recently, however, i discovered the revival of an older technique of using fountain pens, the eyedropper method. it essentially is filling a fountain pen's barrel straight up with ink, forgoing the cartridges i despise. i didnt have the heart to fill any of my pens up with ink, until recently i read about a cheap fountain pen on The Pen Addict, the Pilot Penmanship. eagerly, i read more and more on it, until i found out it is a favorite to eyedropper mod, next to another pen i had found out about in my quest for cheap fountain pens.

now, on Jet Pens, i found the the Penmanship for $7.50. not bad. not bad at all. it would fit my budget rather nicely. i had honestly never expected to find such a wide berth of cheap fountain pens. as it turn out, cheap, and often disposable, fountain pens have been the latest writing trend. you can just guess how thrilled i am bout that! so in y quest for searching for the ulimate cheap fountain pen, i chanced upon the Platinum Preppy, a favorite for eyedropper pens. and i now see why. falling at just $3 at jetpens, i thought this pen would be ideal for the mod. i promptly added one of them to cart along with a Penmanship.

later, however, i deleted it, as in my search for a good ink, i chanced upon a great deal. Noodler's inks, are by far, the best ink i have used. their inks are just fabulous. they have so many varieties, that i initially had a ton of trouble deciding which one to buy. i had read much about it, and so i knew i just had to go with Noodler's. finally, i saw The Heart of Darkness color, a truly dark black ink. available in a 4.5oz bottle with an eyedropper lid, i knew this is the ink i wanted. just $19 too! and now, the reason i deleted the Preppy from the cart, is that the ink came with a free, unmarked Preppy, pre-modded for eyedropper use!! i soon had my dad order me the ink with the free pen, as well as a Penmanship.

so, within 2 days or so of ordering, i had the package on my doorstep! i got rather close to being as excited as when my new longboard came (i havent written about that yet, have i?). and i assure you, i was pretty damn excited. i ran inside, and i opened up the box and yanked out the ink and the preppy, and promptly filled it at my desk, and began doodling. i think i'm in love. i have finally found my favorite pen. it wrote so smooth, also thanks to the lubricated Noodler's ink. i didnt have to deal with the tedious task of filling the cartridge, and i jut got straight to writing, a dream come true! it also meant i didnt have to deal with potential air pockets in the cartridge, making the flow inconsistent.

i havent filled my penmanship just yet, as i dont have an o-ring to seal up the threads, but i'm sure i'll be rather please with it as well. i have decided to stock up on Preppies, as i've just fallen inlove with their cheap, amazingness. plus i have oodles of ink to doodle with.

and i assure you. i'm not weird at all.
just eccentric.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

MVSNL late post.

well, my grades have dropped ever so slightly since my last post.. sad, but they shall be up soon. i hope. since the last post much has happened. ankles better, so i'm out on Layla more often, which is amazing. MVSNL was a success, rehearsal for C.O.E. is going strong. been doing some good stuff in photography, lets see what else...
i dunno, really.
so i'm gonna make this post about MVSNL. in all, total success. we completely sol out the first show, not sure about the second, but it was packed! it was oodles of fun! like seriously! i took loads of portraits backstage of fellow cast members on the second, and closing night. i figured out how to bounce my flash really well. i mean, i had read up on it and all, but never really tried it very much.i think i've gotten a good feel for how to bounce light off of where at what angle and degree for highlights on this part of the face. this following picture for instance is my first bounced photo. turned out damn good IMO.
there was this wall directly across from the backstage doors, that i just fell in love with. it bounced the light beautifully, and made the photos real warm.
this one turned out great. slightly too white ish, but otherwise, still nice and well lit over all. i also took a few with out flash but only one or two came out really noteworthy. this one was one of them:
i wish the background was nicer, but thanks to a good bokeh from my trusty nifty fifty, the parking lot served well enough. i also began to shoot manual a bit later, and stuck to it for a while. i do say, it yielded some of my best shots for the night. it darkened the skin tones enough that they didn't seemed washed out by the flash. also, it managed to turn the background black in may photos, and added some pretty epic light and shadow affects if i may say so myself.
heres one of my favorites, of Karina and my new apprentice in the ways of awesomeness, Mikey.
IMG_6750 speaking of cool lighting on photos, i've always wanted to take a photo like this next one. i really find them amazingly cool. 'tis a shame, though, that there were people in the back. IMG_6770
now re' that photography rule, called the Rule of Thirds. which is basically you frame your subject in one of the three thirds, that separate a frame horizontally. typically you avoid the center third for a more interesting photo. but i think there should be a rule of halfs, as sometimes, you just cant use the rule of thirds (especially with a fixed zoom lens!). also, i sometimes love photo bombers. especially like this. oh it would have been so epic if there wasnt bokeh, but it kinda's cool with it:
IMG_6793 well, that's all for tonight. maybe i'll do more this week, or possibly next. you never know. i'm too unreliable when it comes to blogging.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

well, 'tis been a while eh?

well, yes i'm sorry about that! and, crooks, since you're like the only one who actually checks this blog every now and then, say this word to me next time you see me after reading this: megalodon.
hell anyone who knows me, say that to me!! but yea, I've been pretty busy since my last post.
school isn't so bad yet.
hmm lets see, the end of summer, went to Puerto Rico with my pops and bro. had a real blast. its honestly a beautiful island. we did alot there. we went deep sea fishin'. my bor caught like a 275lb Blue Marlin, while i brought in a 4ft long Barracuda!! fantasmic revenge for the bloody 'cuda that ate my baby tuna that i had hooked in the Bahamas about 5 years prior. also, we went zip-lining. man! was that a BLAST!! the food was rather good too; well, at certain places. there's a place we liked so much we went back there 3 times!!

so in school, i have been studying hard... but yet i already have an A- and 3 Bs... bollocks! ah wel, i'm gonna need to start working harder. i auditioned for the school fall play, and managed to hook the role of Antipholus of Syracuse in Shakespeare's Comedy Of Errors...
yoikes there's so many lines you have no idea! I've been stressing like mad!!! argghhh!!! i don't even know how i was chosen! this is seriously my first full length play since i was 8 or 9. mind blowing, i know. and even then, i only had tree lines then!! I'm really freaking out about lines, but I'm also really excited, because its gonna be oodles of fun!

now lets see, what else?
oh yea, I'd like to thank crooks again for having the coolest birthday party ever by taking us to the Green Day concert on the 4th of this month. it was amazing! honestly, musically, i have been to better concerts, but show wise, easily one of the best shows I've ever been to!! they put on an amazing show!! it was the last show of their tour, so they really pulled out all the works! coolest part? they said that they were recording the concert for a live album!!! so sweet!
speaking of concerts, i have 2 other concerts this month I'm really looking forward to!! on the 22nd, i have a Blue October concert! I'm really excited because i missed them last time 'round at the Fillmore because my dad fell sick last minute, and my mum couldn't take me. but hell, that's the past, and i am going this year!! Also, on the 30th, I'm going to see Jimmy Eat World live!! that's one show I'm honestly stoked out of my mind for!! GAHHHH!!! I'M SO EXCITED!!! J.E.W. (hey! it spells "jew" coolio!) is such an awesome band!!

speaking of stoke for you longboarding readers, (ok i'm using that phrase a tad too much), i have an order placed for a clutch jailbait with custom dyed purple/black carbon fiber!! woo! i'm incredibly stoked for that board to come!! thinking of setting it up with gunmetals and Oops! , or possibly Indy's or Hybrids... honestly cant decide yet. but i'm really excited. also, i've found a ton of new longboarding friends!! thats really exciting, cuz now i have people to go ride with. in fact i had a sesh last saturday, but i had to miss it because some stupid girl just totally ruined my skating for the next 2 months... well, 2 weeks, but i'm not taking any risks because of the play.

basically, on thursday, on my way to school, some stupid girl was crossing the street to the sidewalk where i was riding t a decent pace. she made eye contact with me when she had stepped up onto the cub. i had obviously no room to stop, nor any to go around her. yet the numbskull decided to step right infront of me. i attempted to carve around her as not to totally deck her. thanks to my latest bushing combo of 93a and 88a venom elims, my front trucks got around. unfortunately, my rear trucks didnt entirely. my left wheel hit the dirt, stalling my board, thus sending me flying off. whcih, by the way, is not a very fun way to start the day. i landed with pretty much all my force on my left ankle, which is now sprained. 2 week downtime. but i'm taking 2 months, because i really do not want to jeopardize the play.

ok so yea, thats it for now. some news about the blog. i'm planning on changing the layout, as this one's getting old... so if you have any recommendations for sites that do really cool, and simple layouts for free, please comment here! also, i'm changing the style of my blog from very infrequent, but ├╝berly long posts that probably bore the lot of you to death, so semi-frequent, blog posts, and i may also use this as a photo blog... no not like how people use tumblr. like i may post some photos i took and like and wanna share, or someone else's photo i like alot. i dunno. let it just be know that changes shall be made soon!

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